So what it Project Grace 2010?
It's something I came up with this morning while I was wandering around lost... I'm lost... I've lost myself - how is that possible...?
I look in the mirror, I see the shell of me (a rather XXL shell I might add) ... but where am I...? Where have I gone...?
The girl that was so confident, self-assured, fit, healthy, ready to take on the world... where is she...?
Those around me still see her in me... but I can't.
I am paralysed by fear.
What am I afraid of?
This year I turn 40 - but that's not it, that is not what I'm afraid of.
The thought of it, however, got me thinking...
If the average life expectancy for women is around 80ish (courtesy of Google)... then I guess I'm heading for the dreaded mid-life crisis... is that what this is?
To be honest, Project Grace 2010 is a mystery journey. I don't know details. All I know is that I need to find and restore myself before I turn 40... I can't keep going on like this - I AM OVER FEELING LIKE THIS!
I am over feeling disconnected with myself... I'm a walking contradiction (yes, I joined that Facebook Group thanks to my old school friend Sharron).
I am writing this on the 1st day of March in the US... but for Europe, Asia and where I am - Australia (Oz) - it's already the 2nd. However my first act of "Fuck it, I'm doing it anyway," I am taking the liberty of declaring the US time as my project's start date, so here it is in writing:
Day 1: 1st March 2010 (Gosh, I am such a rebel)
Completion Date: 3rd November 2010 (My 40th Birthday)
So that's it... project underway... I'm off to check out a new gym that's opened up nearby. Hopefully hiding in some corner, I might find a part of me that I lost along the way.
Ciao for now,